Tearing behind my smile & laughter.
Its 2am now.
i cant freaking sleep.
i am lost, i dont know where to go.
okay i shall rant out how i feel now.
cause i cant help,
but just keep staring at friends' blog and cry.
i dont know is it cause i think too much or what.
i guess it doesnt make any difference if i leave 10S18.
sometimes, i really envy people from other classes.
they are all so bonded.
so i guess leaving PJC makes no difference too.
Our class people only talk about how sucky our class was.
which teacher is following up with them.
hope to change CT! cus she sucks to the core.
everyone excited about who is joining 10s18 next year.
and i am here thinking, 11s?? or Poly.
I dont even know if i can get into the course i want in poly.
REALLY,
i am sad inside.
deep down inside me,
i feel like killing myself.
all those happy conversations i had with my friends,
are all fake.
i dont feel happy at all.
i feel so dumb.
i wasted my time & money this year.
2010 = bad year.
why?!
all i can do in the day is just hiding.
and when its all dark,
i started feeling tired & sad.
sad till i kept crying.
This is the 3rd day.
what should i do?
i really dont feel like going to PJC anymore.
its pains to see my class, my friends.
worst still, i have to talk to them & even laugh and be cheerful to hide my sadness.
i dont know if every kairos is feeling this way or is it just me?
i guess cause i have never failed till so badly in my life.
A girl like me, who used to top everything no matter in academic or dance.
ACTUALLY HAD TO RETAIN ANOTHER YEAR IN PJC!
Joke right?
haha.
i really have nothing to say.
Just hope everyone else in 10S18 do well for their A Levels next year.
seriously,
how i wish i can say what Hairizad said to his class happily,
"Thank you 10S18 for being part of my life in 2010!"
But that will never happen i guess.
Its the end of 2010 academic year next week.
last week of being part of 10S18.
Bye 10S18.
Bye Lala.
Bye Rachael.
Bye suckiest teacher.
Bye PJC...