SCAREFEST @ NGEE ANN POLY 2010

waited for the bloody queue since like 7.45pm!

Argh.

damn waited for 3 hours!

OMG damn fun!

those who missed it, their own problem.

its damn nice.

The worst thing is,

MY CABBBB FARE!

it was $15 to pay.

gosh, i was so reluctant to come out with the punishment.

should just notice him can already.

i am damn sleepy righ tnow.

tmr, needa wake up at 6.45pm!

STUPID SCHOOL!

hate this kinda students uh.

damn!

k la, thats all for tonight.

to tired to type.

zzz

you are ok i think. just be more technology.

should be okay nw.

(;

I am at Jensi's house now.

Hmm.

waiting for her to bathe. (:

then meeting lala and jastine at 7pm!

Hahahahaha.

WE ARE HEADING FOR SCAREFEST @ NP!

Cant wait for the fun night.

okay school today was totally boring.

i practically didnt do anything.

OP in the morning was crap shit la.

Was too tired to present properly cause i slept at 1.45am ytd and woke up a 5.30am today.

then Rongjie came to talk to me.

i was damn angry and sad and stress of what he say.

when rachael and lala came,

i totally couldnt take it and went off to toilet and cry.

seriously.

nobody understands how i feel.

everybody feels differently.

day for me starts out suckishly.

thought everyone so ON will go Scarefest with me today.

in the end one by one aeroplane-d me. ))):

i was freaking angry. (i know i shouldnt)

but still.

sigh.

luckily Jensi and lala and jastine going. (:

then in the afternoon, walked around the track with jen and lala.

cause we were all not feeling good. >:(

i got myself a little tanned! ^^ super happy.

maybe i shall just sit on the track everyday for half and hour so that i will be tanned! (:

Aim for this holiday = BE TANNED! (:

SLEEPY!

oh my gosh.
just completed editing my slides.
its 1.15am now!
i am freaking tired.

shall go pack my bag and sleeeeeeeeepppp!
*yawns*


Sweet dreams everyone! :D

DANCED ALOT TODAY!

danced in school today for the MI audition.
gosh.
i think i suck at teaching. ):
how to become teacher. ))))):

then went lot 1 with minzie, jensi, jiaen, jiayee and huiying.
they went KFC eat.
lol.
so went there talk too.
till like 7.30pm.
then went off.

went for crew training.
wts.
i kept doing pushups, and handstands.
just kept training my arms.
aching like mad now! ):

but competition and performances coming,
so cant slack.

wore my lovely yellow banana sweatpants today with my favourite top! :D
i think i didnt waste as much time as yesterday.

and WR handed in already.
left with only OP!
woooooooohooooo~~
freaking happy now!

but tired.
i wanna get an A for my presentation.
cause i think i can.
jiayous for everyone.

shall go do my slides now.

SCAREFEST@NP TMR!
excited much! :D

what the freak is wrong with me?!
i think its cause the breaks i have is tooo freaking long.
it makes me go crazy.
like feeling so lost and empty and tired.
wts.
i think the school arrangement just sucks to the core la!
god damn it. >:(
freaking hate the school!
SUUUUCCCKS!

My dear friend:
i am soooooooooo sooorrry. i was texting RJ the whole day i swear. even till now.
freaking hate pw.
i am soooo sorry if i didnt really talk to you today alright? quickly go do your work and sleep.
see you tmr!

TIRED but HAPPY! :D

Just got back from breaking.
Gosh.
damn tough eh.
but i am determined to learn.
cause i wanna be bgirl! teehee. (:

before i get too old for breakdancing.

Argh spent my day texting many people.
tooooooooooooooooooooo.BORED!

Man, my bestie brought his GF along.
): i was damn sad.
like he spent more time with her.
ok la, but with friends around, everyone should be more open what.
in the end, i just left home first.

sigh.
everyone (Besties) around me are getting attached.
and soooon they will have lesser time for me.
sad to the max now.

WR ends tmr.
i cant wait for hell to end.
but for now,
i shall go bathe and then do my OP.

Oh and anyone wanna go NP with me on Friday?
for scarefest.
pleasse please text me.

CREW TRAINING AT NIGHT! :D
I CANT WAIT.
I WANNA DANCE.
LUCKILY I BROUGHT MY DANCE ATTIRE!
MY SWEATPANTS AND OVERSIZED SHIRT! :D

freaking happy right now.
cause school is really just a total waste of time.
freaking borreeedd!
My lessons all ended at 9am for today, tmr and friday.
so i guess i wont attend school on friday!
going halloween fest with my friends! <3
teeheee!

OMG I SERIOUSLY WANNA BE A BGIRL!
BUT ITS LIKE HARD!
i got to train my arms like strong enough so that i can be perfect!
arghhhhhh..
how i wish i just can learn everything in a shot and be more daring.

Oh and now everyone is just complaining about PW.
freaking PW.
killing everyone else.
i am so tired right now.
wanna sleep!!! ):

next monday no school tooo!
cause others have O Level Chinese! hahahahahah!
ALL THE BEST PEOPLE! (:
luckily i dont take chinese anymore.

P.S I AM DAMN IRRITATED BY SOMEONE NOWADAYS. F.SHIT! >:(

Feeling quite sick now.

forgotten to take my medicine today. ):

should i run tmr?

i feel like running...

but i am freaking tired.

arghh...

i want my bed now. ):

I feel like a lost soul now.

being thrown out of the car.

left behind.

i seriously dont know where should i go and what should i do.

i wanna get myself prepared, but i cant.

sigh.

PW is really killing me.

idk what my group mates want.

idk what Mr lum wants.

i think my OP is not that bad,

but i just feel sucky uh.

was damn pissed for the whole day like seriously..

wasted my whole day doing nothing.

):

i shouldnt even attend school la!

This Friday, only have lesson from 8 to 9am!

i dont know if i should attend or not.

should i?

Hmm..

QUite busy with dance nowadays too.

gonna have a competition. (audition for charity show)

so its like.

dancing everyday.

and on 7th DEC gonna have a dance concert.

anyone wanna watch? (:

CONTACT ME ALRIGHT?

hmm i think thats all for today.

shall go do PW now.

dang PW!

argh.

hell.

alright.

nights in advance.

i am kinda confused now.

i dont know where to go.

i am for sure retaining.

sigh.

shall wait for the verdict day to see where to go then.. D':

Saturday, 23rd 2010 - Sunday 24th 2010

NIKE RUN VOLUNTEER :D

went to my friend's house on Friday night.

learned break dance from him. (:

but i still cant really do invert,

but oh well.

needa practice more.

Then had heart to heart talk with him and my another childhood friends

they always make me feel better.

though what they say might sometimes be biased,

but it always end up helping me.

Thank you guys, love you guys forever!

Got home at around 5 plus in the morning.

Then slept till 8am!

went for piano.

i swear i played till i wanna sleep.

got home at 10am and i didnt get to sleep.

Mum rushed me out.

so i any how wore one tshirt & went to view our new house.

I FREAKING LOVE MY ROOM! (:

i cant wait to move.

like seriously.

i want to have a new life,

at a new environment.

i wanna put all my sorrows and unpleasent memories in JURONG & nt bringing there.

its sad that i will miss my friends here though.

alright then shall move on.

ate dinner with my family @hougang.

it was freaking nice.

I LOVE MY FAMILY! ^^

needa spend more time with them though. ):

feel quite bad for staying late in school and kept spending their money,

shall find work. (:

got home at around 7.15pm and bathed.

left house at 8pm and went to lala's house.

was damn excited then about volunteering for the Nike run. (:

at her house,

prepared while we talked.

left her house at 9 plus.

and headed towards Marina Square cause minhui they all were there alr.

*was still in my anyhow-wear-shirt* ):

got there around 10.15pm.

guess who we saw?!

WTF some frogs la.

my eyes almost drop out.

plus i was wearing a damn ugly shirt, feeling damn embarrassed.

they were all at the pool there.

so we went to find them.

walao first person i saw was him.

i was like dont know how to react.

then jensi hurt me, she said i was wearing a pyjamas.

freaking sad la.

so lala and i went off to mac to buy coffee.

i swear we were damn unlucky.

kept seeing them around.

then we just dont care la.

@11 like that we decided to go first.

so we went off towards floating bay.

Then we stopped @esplanade cause they were screening some malay ghost movie.

freaking scary i swear.

i was shivering uh.

watched till 12am.

freak sia.

seriously freak me out.

then my exboyfriend suddenly texted me.

"hi mabel, you understand malay uh?"

i was like damn shock.

cause i lost all my contacts then i didnt know who was the sender.

loL!

but i sorta expected it was him from the way he type.

then i asked him why didnt he call me and he said cause i was with my friend.

seriously.

shall now wish him all the best for his O levels.

lol!

miss my sec school friends though.

Hmm. then i saw Aijing, Ying ying and jayne!! :D
freaking happy to see them actually!

ahahhaha!
PLUS THE MOST SHOCKING THING IS,

BAY SIYAO actually went for the thing too!

hahahahahah!
MISS HIM LIKE CRAZY UH, My AH GONG! :D

hahhahha! then in the end we went to eat cause 3am then they start briefing.

went of with siyao they all and didnt go with minzie they all cause i miss my friends.

damn fun uh i swear! :D

hhahhahahahah!

i was damn tired then cause 2 nights didnt sleep.

then i had headache.

gosh seriously can die.

then everything started.

we went to our department there.

the BAGGAGE DEPARTMENT.

gosh. its like we will be the busiest people of the whole event.

had briefing and then divided ourselves into groups.

Dennis, WeiXian, Darren, Alloysius, Samuel and Kenneth one group.

they took counter "O".

then Me, lala, minzie, jiaen, jiayee and jensi one group.

we took counter "N".

It was damn fun okay!

we try to keep ourselves hyped up.

5.30am!

started work.

gosh at first we two groups were competing to see who get the most runners.

so we like damn high.

hahaha!

it was fun la i swear

gaahahahahaha! :D

i said,

"GOOD MORNING, YOU CAN COME AND RECEIVE YOUR BAG AT THE SAME COUNTER, COUNTER "N" LATER AFTER YOUR RUN WITH THIS TAG. ENJOY YOUR RUN!" *WIDE SMILE*

for 2 CONSECUTIVE HOURS NON-STOP.

and stapling and tying rubberbands made my hands sore.

but it was fun.

time passed damn quickly.

finally at 7.30am.

we saw the light.

damn tiring.

then we went to washroom and rest.

but alittle while later at 8.15 like that.

what the shit,

gt people complete the race alr.

theres this 16 yrs old boy,

completed the 10km at ard 36mins++

walao, i damn shocked!

i also wanna run man!

then i went to rest for a little while. cause head quite pain.

woke up,

became worst.

but i started helping out giving out their bags.

it was tiring but fun! :D

walao and that Weixian,

crap all the way! hahahahaha!

hmm then everthing ended at 10am++ and we receive our $25! :DD

so we decided to go eat together.

everyone was tired by then

hahhahahhaah!

Missyella & I were tired but i think cause of the coffee, we kept talking non-stop.

hahahahah!

i guess we were irrtating to them then.

hahahha!

hmm then decided to go kopitiam to eat.

sat at like seperated tables.

3 round tables.

woah, i sat with kenneth, dennis & lala.

i was like treating it as a mini competition by myself la.

see which table sleep first.

in the end jiaen's table slept first.

then minzie, weixian, darren and jiayee's table. they ate till they almost slept.

quite funny! hahahahahhaha!
so in the end we won! :D

hahahahaa

quite lame though.

hahahaa

on our way back,

we were all dying i swear.

Lala and i stood up and slept.

i almost fell.

so i decided to keep myself awake.

and haha!

they way dennis and weixian slept were damn funny!

hahahahhah!

all of us laughed like mad!

the most epic one is,

lala was standing and sleeping like a log.

then cause i was sitting down,

suddenly she bent towards me and said quite loudly,

"MABEL DO YOU HAVE TISSUE? I DROOLED. DAMN GROSS!"

*with blur face*

hahahahahhahah!

ALL OF US BURST INTO LAUGHTER!

couldnt take it man! hhahahahahahahhahaha!

then she awake alr.

so all of us chatted..

i seriously felt damn happy.

like going back to those days when i was damn crazy.

laughing like mad with my friends when we were out.

miss being a crazy girl. (:

then we decided to eat YAMI YOGURT. (:

went to JP with lala, lingying, weixian, darren, Minzie and kenneth.

hahahahahha!

guess what,

i ordered like the take-home pack and ate everything by myself.

damn shiok i swear.

actually its cause i was happy plus like having a little mixed feelings thats why i think i need chill myself by eating that whole big tub.

argh fat alr.

needa run soooon.

then we all parted at around 2 plus @ JP.

i swear i was so tired that i can just sleep on the floor.

went to lala's house to collect my stuffs.

on the train to clementi,

gosh super embarrasing!

cause i was afraid i will fall while standing and sleeping.

so i went to sit beside lala.

then i fell into deep sleep immediately.

i sat at the side.

the train suddenly jerked.

i knew i was gonna bang my head against the glass panal.

but i thought i could hold on to my weight,

but inthe end i failed.

"BANG!"

my head knocked against the glass panal.

it was soooooo freaking loud that missyella woke up okay!

gosh then the two aunties asked me if i was okay and one of them started laughing!

luckily we reached clementi already.

if not i swear i gonna die of embarrassment.

then got home at around 4pm.

woah i was damn tired.

at least 30hours without sleep.

so i took off my shoes and just lie on the floor and fell asleep.

hahahahhahaha!

didnt bathe or change clothes at all. :/

Nat woke me up at 8pm+

cause he said later at night i cant sleep if i sleep too much.

so i woke up and bathe.

i totally forgotten i had my contact lenses on.

lol!

after bathing i was still sleepy.

waited for my parents to come home.

had dinner and i went back to sleep at around 11pm again.

damn tired! like seriously.

then today!

woke up at 6.15am., thinking that it was Sunday.

but in fact, its MONDAY ALR! ):

freaking sick. D:

whole body aching cause i think i am having a cold alr.

didnt wanna attend school but cant.

so i went to school.

school was damn boring!

PW from 8 till 10am.

doing nothing.

then i ended school already.

cause the others have chinese so i was alone.

Rachael lend me her ipod and watch a korean variety show!

hahahah damn!

i swear i looked like an idiot laughing so loud alone at the canteen!

damn damn funny!

hahahahaaha!

i guess i will watch tmr again.

4 hours break tmr!

walao.

had dance just now.

head toooooo pain.

cant take it.

so i rest.

then texted Benedict cause he text me while he was having breaks during rugby training.

luckily he texted me.

i almost died in dance room.

the sight of....

like killing me man.

i secretly hope that "thing" didnt happen at all.

this is making everthing so awkward.

i dont wanna give fake smile.

bt for now its still so hard.

i am trying to be normal.

hope i succeed.

i need time. ):

sigh got home at 8pm plus.

feeling so tired now.

gonna sleep soon.

freak and there's a BIG MOTH outside my house.

i was damn scared to come in just now.

damn scary. )):

okay i think thats all.

such a boring life i have now.

hope there's people that will text me now.

not those lame texts but yeah to chat.

thats all.

shall sleep soon.

feeling damn hell weak and sick now......

and sad.

THIS SATURDAY STANDARD CHARTED RUN BRIEFING.

I CANT WAIT FOR ALL CIPs NOW!

AND THOSE WHO HAVE MY NUMBER,

PLEASE PLEASE TEXT ME WITH YOUR NAME!
MY BOTH PHONES DIED AND I LOST ALL MY CONTACTS.

PLEASE KINDLY TELL ME YOUR NUMBER!

ALL ARE IMPORTANT TO ME.

THANKS! (:

Done with my blogskin. (:
Like finally.
and i decided to change songs too.
the first song,
关怀方式
is an all time favourite.
listened to it since i was young.
Memories will just flash.

i have always wanted everything to be perfect.
but i just realised i cant have everything done perfectly cause
i aint a wonderwoman.

haha.
i was wrong all these while.
thinking i am so superb.
but failure came by and proved me wrong.
i will learn from all my mistakes this year.
no matter in studies/family/friends/relationships.
i will try my best next time.

After i move,
i will start everything afresh.
i want to love everyone with all i can.
and study real hard.

i will always believe in god,
and yeah.
i'll pray for all.

i dont know what to do.

or how am i feeling. ):

its like my heart is lost.

project work is killing me.

damn.

i just cant wait for tonight..

so that i can be with my friends.

meeting aijing, jayne and yingying!

Decided to change my blogskin.
Tired of the previous one already.
Gonna change it sooon.

alright.
back to today.
woke up at around 6am.
head pain like shit.
so decided to stay at home.
missyella didnt attend school either.
rachael said that she wanna go school late.
but in the end she didnt go too.
so its like 3 of us didnt attend school today.

went to polyclinic at 9 plus.
wts.
waited for hours.
damn irritating.

had lunch with Dad, Mum and Noel @dad's company.
love that kinda time.
really enjoyable though i wasnt feeling well.
got home at 2pm.
continue sleeping till like 6.30pm.
gosh.

Mum went to fetch dad and they got dinner back.
dint eat.
cause still dont feel well.
then i watched PLAYFUL KISS last episode.
freak.
MY SEUNG JO!.
omo.
i am having withdrawal symptoms now.
):

alright BOTH MY PHONES DIED ON ME.
HOW?!
goddamnit.
and PW is getting on my nerves.
f.

Tmr is the Nike run volunteering thing.
i cant wait.
cause its gonna be an overnight thing.

i think thats all for today.
head pain again.
D:

These few days has been quite normal for me.
nothing much actually.
Just keep slacking.

sigh.
idk why nowadays i have this thought in mind of getting married.
actually is like i wanna wear a wedding dress.
idk think i am crazy.

New house is gonna be ready soon.
i cant wait to move actually.
Its like i wanna start afresh.

its then i thought of sth and decided.
If i were to retain,
i will try out Accountancy again.
Hope to get in cause i have already decided on the course i wanna take in Uni.

But if i can be promoted,
i will continue with J2 and work extra hard.
no more wasting of time uh.

Rachael was damn funny.
Told me about TEAMS and stuffs.
hahahaha!
but its fun uh.

Missyella,
you will be fine alright?
trust me.
i will pray for you.
just from now on, focus on PW and chinese.
you will be okay.
and though i cant be the one hugging you cause i am just ur bestfriend,
not girlfriend (EWWWW)
but yeah,
just remember that i will always be there for you alright?

Hmm.
i guess if i were to retain or like go outta PJC,
i will miss them both. D:

Another thing,
freaking shit.
i freaking hate the HAZE.
damn INDONESIA.
wtf are they doing man.

imma feeling damn unwell cause of the haze.
its irritating me. >:(

Ran yesterday with lala.
Super unwell.
like before that i puked twice already then had headache too.
but i thought after running might feel better.
Zz.
in the end,
i puke twice again while running.
Got home at around 7 plus.
head pain like shit.
But had to do PW.
so yeah.
then while doing, my whole house like spinning non-stop.
couldnt take it.
so decided to sleep.
bt before that, i vomited again.

5times in a day.
gosh, my throat hurts. ):

Then today actually didnt wanna attend school.
but cause theres physics and chem lecture.
so i went.
Super uncomfortable i swear.
First lesson was chem tutorial.
freaking shit that teacher,
i was freaking unwell already and she scolded me for resting.
wtf.
i was damn pissed off uh.

so i packed my stuffs right away and walked outta class.
then i went to the sick bay.
i LOVE THE SICK BAY!
damn nice to sleep.
argh man.
wanna go there tmr again.

but i thought it would get better.
in the end my headache got worst.
cant stand the haze i swear.
then now headache got worst again.
feel like puking again.
and i started to tear.
fml.
I HATE INDONESIA.
FREAK.


watched playful kiss.
walao damn nice. D":
i envy Oh ha ni.
like seriously.
why the guy so cute.
man.
jealous.

sigh.
feeling so bad now.
my headache is killing me i swear.
dont feel like attending school tmr. )))):
should i?

DEAD

Regretted going to school today.

Its like a total waste of time.

That freaking lady, speaked for more than an hour early in the morning.

her voice totally can kill me la.

i hate her. ugh.

as in she may be nice, but i just hate her when she is so naggy.

damn.

wanted to run during PE.

should have ran. ):

In the end played frisbee.

i hate my class like seriously.

I cant understand why they hate the Sun/PE that much.

damn.

Then it was PW.

Rach's group presented.

i was freaking tired.

so i slept. :/

An hour break followed by PW again.

Then Johnny's group kept saying they not ready.

in the end my group went up to present.

it was okay uh.

Aiming to get an A for OP.

Finally PW left with only perfecting my slides and speech (which i am doing now)

then I&R.

Hell is gonna end soon. (:

Then i had another hour break while others had Mother Tongue.

Met MingYang and Alan for break.

Ate icecream as usual and talked.

then GP lecture.

it was okay.

i hope to pass GP.

afraid now. )))):

Then had another break and it was chemistry.

my mood by that time was in hell already.

totally feel like killing people.

i just hate school.

Damn angry with myself.

i cant forgive myeself.

why am i so dumb?

Even stanley got a C for his math when he is so busy with rugby..

FML.

HATE MESELF TO THE CORE.

i just quarrelled with dad.

super upset now.

i feel as though my world is crashing.

i hate everyone.

wanna be alone. )':

dont feel like going to school tmr.

wanna just stay at home and on my bed for the whole day.

i am dead.

That's my favourite song now.

Marriage D'amour

was playing on the piano for an hour just now.

안녕!
Its me again!
hahah!
i have decided to keep my hair long
cause i am gonna curl it! :D
feel like dyeing my hair.
maybe to dark brown or black.
Hehehe.
sooooon.
after shifting house,
i will do whatever i want.
i wanna be carefree.
single is so much cooler. :D
i guess thats what made me happy.
though sometimes i might be envious of other couples.
like.. my best girlfriend.
so nice of fyy to have him.
so cute together. :')
really hope they'll last long.
shall make myself happy and cheerful like i used to be from now onwards.
화이팅 Mab.

NOEL's PERFORMANCE ON SATURDAY 16th October.

Noel was very cute.
his performance item was Hair Spray!

and he was standing in the middle.
sorta the lead.
hahaha! :D
so proud of my little brother.
talented.
he is super handsome i swear.
teehee.

Oh and i love my family alot. really alot! :D
My turn to perform soon at RP.
in dec. there will be a concert.
though we are the not main one as it is a hiphop concert,
but still i will be performing. ^^

Saturday morning,
went for piano and then got home.
parents said they wanna go buy fridge before going for the performance.
so we went to Jurong Point.
Had my Mr.Bean's breakfast. :D
love it ttm.

Then we went to Courts.
guess what.
i saw this really cuteeeee guy! <3 gosh. he have the Seung Jo feeling to me. then i texted rach and lala. hahahah! bābo Rachael ask me to use my skill to take photos of him. wts damn stalkerish. but i took uh cause he really too cute.!





Hahah! rachael! lala!
please say he is cute at least a bit! :D
hahahhah!

hmm yeah,
i spent my weekend watching korean dramas.
gosh.
and i dread doing PW.
but luckily our group is like left 10%.
which is perfecting my slides and practice my presentation.
but no mood now.
shall do it tmr.

somehow,
i am waiting for something to happen.
a miracle maybe.
sigh.

It was dooms day for me last Thursday and Friday.
I cried damn badly after knowing my results.
i seriously worked hard for Promos.
i really tried my best.
why did it turn out that way?!
i am damn hell sad. ):

I know it was my Mid years.
i should have work harder for mye since it was easy.
why didnt i?! !
I WANNA PUT A FULL BLAME ON THAT STUPID IDIOT.

WHY DID I EVEN SPEND MY WHOLE JUNE HOLS WITH HIM! DAMN.
sheesh.
i know i am at fault.
but i really think if he doesnt appear, i would have done better.
i regretted like f.
SHIT.

Friday i really broke down.
)':
i wanted to just jump out from the corridor.
i think i would if lala wasnt sitting beside me.

Its like the whole world falling.
i know its dumb of me to do that.
but its the first time i failed so badly.
to an extent that i will retain.
fml.

i like wasted my parents money.
i disappointed them.
i hate myself.
then i texted mum and dad.
the reply they gave me made me cry even more.

They said, "its okay girl. (: you know where went wrong. dont worry."

i cried damn hell hard after seeing that.
wts.
why didnt i work hard?!

then after that.
i went and have a walk with missyella.
heart to heart talked to her.
it really made me felt better.
thank you so much my bestie.

Rachael and Missyella,
you guys know actually i cried because i cant accept the fact that i wont be with you all next year?
i am damn upset.
its like how on earth am i gonna survive in school without you two.
i know i hated you guys to the core last time.
but i love you all now.
i am damn hell sad now.
i seriously dont know what to do.
):
so for now,
i will just enjoy as much as i can with you two.!

as for now,
i shall just focus on PW since i dont have chinese to worry.
and yeah.
aim to achieve an A for PW.
hwaiting.
i can do it.

I really dont know what to do.

Its like dooms day for me today.

HOW?!

I feel damn disappointed with myself.

I should have worked harder for MYE.

I am really praying very hard for miracle to happen now. ):

What if i retain?

continue JC? or POLY?

if JC, should i change college? since i am shifting.

Urgh.

i am damn upset.

cried in school today.

i cant imagine myself retaining.

leaving missyella and rachael.

):

they are for sure going to promote.

i dont know what to do.

its like i wanna promote with my friends.

):

sigh.

went to gym with missyella, kavin, weihao and yongjun.

Ran for 45mins.

i almost fainted.

i was running non stop at a speed of 8.7km/hr.

at like 35mins i can feel myself dying.

but i didnt wanna stop.

i needa destress.

i was damn sad.

like really very sad.

so i continue running.

after coming down from the treadmill,the whole gym was like spinning.

missyella said that she can see that i was pushing myself.

i seriously feel like dying.

this is my first time experiencing this.

):

i have no one to talk to, as in say out how i really feel.

i wanted to tell missyella and rachael, but it was too difficult to say.

):

i really cant think of anyone to talk to.

i have let my parents and myself down.

wtf.

i feel like running under the hot sun tmr again.

):

@6 plus went to eat with kavin and weihao and lala.

@7 went ten mile junction to buy Mr Bean's ice cream with lala.

at that point of time i was thinking,

shit this will only happened till the year end,

and if i retain,

i wont be able to enjoy so much time with them anymore.

))))':

i know i can have new friends, but i dont wanna leave my real friends this year.

sighs.

reached home at 8+

i am like damn tired now.

what am i gonna do tmr?

i hope i can pass my other subjects.

so that i can have a higher chance of promoting.

please god,

do let my efforts pay off.

i studied damn hard. ):

*sobs*

oh and he apologized.

i didnt expect that.

i dont really know how to react.

lala was beside me just now.

i have given up like 2 days ago.

cause of the drama and i think its not worth it.

whatever it is,

wish you all the best.

i will try my best and befriends with you again.

somehow i cant wait for NIKE run next week.

shall watch Playful Kiss ep13 later.
(:

thanks for all that were supporting me.

love you guys.

THATS THE SHITTY PLACE I WENT FOR LEARNING JOURNEY YESTERDAY.

i swear i wanted to die.

it was tooo gross! ):

gosh.

until now i am still damn f. pissed with the school for appointing my class to go there

while other classes can o to the museums.

freak up school.

god damn it!

ugh.

done with episode 12.
man. seung jo is so nice. they are damn sweet.
sigh i envy them. ):
i am jealous and sad again...

i dont know what to say.
but i think i am changing again.
sigh.
have a bad feeling about this. ):

and getting back results tmr.
afraid i will retain.. )):

THIS SHOW IS TOOOOOOO AWWWEEESOOME!
OMG ADDICTED!
hahaha.
got home early today at around 2pm!
omg.
i slept till like 7.30pm with my uniform on la!
lol!
should have like start watching dramas earlier cause.
i think it made me felt better.
guess i have to just move on.
can just say i bad luck,
meet this kinda person.
sigh...
knock on the wrong door and dont know how to close it back immediately.
zzz.
suay uh! f.

i wanna know how you really feel and what are you thinking.
i wanna know.
and i wanna know, is it you use me as a sub or did you really like me before.
i wanna know all that you feel. ):
i wanna hear the truth.
i want so badly..
please please jot it down somewhere that i can go search for answers.
hope you see this. ):

i always try my best to smile.
even today.
but can you see that its a bitter smile?
i am damn hurt.
not sure if you know that you have hurt me that deep.
prolly to you its nothing.
but to me, its alot.
i really dont know why.
but i find it hard to face you again.
):
this really saddens me.
plus you two are like always together, as in place tgt in a group.
do you think i should have ask you to think deeply?
do you think what i do is correct?
somehow part of me regretted asking you to think hard.
cause i am damn sad right now.
i know its selfish.
but i just couldnt help it.
please bear with me,
i think i need awhile more to completely kill my heart and move on. ):
i secretly wish you all the best, you might still have chance to be with her. )':
sorry to say, but i really miss you, i really really do. )):

this is damn depressing. D:
i cant sleep well nor eat well.
cant focus.
):

A DAY OUT WITH MY CRAZY FRIENDS!

Had some stupid waste-of-time programme in school today.
some enrichment,
was actually posted to do hip hop but i crash rapping lesson.
it was a wrong move.
toooooo boring!
i didnt do anything.
spend my time walking around in school and talking to benedict and watching people dance.
it was quite funny though.
both the hip hop and street jazz instructor are good and cause i know them personally too. :D
hahahahah!

After school,
went to jp to meet my friends.
miss them like crazy.
but when i was on the bus to dominos.
it passed by bukit batok..
): i couldnt take it.
no matter where and when ,
i wil just think of him.
so i just tear silently.
):
serioously,
why is it so hard for me to get over?
i really hate it.
i dont wanna be seen as the one clinging onto him
i dont want.
i need to be stronger! ):
sigh.
never mind.

TO LALA and RACH: i am so sorry, these few days i will be damn down. and will be crying alot.
i need alot of time to heal since its a double stab.
you guys know what i mean.
i really need time.
i cant really face him and that girl. ):
its really very depressing. ))):

sigh never mind.
shall continue with my best friends intro below.

RETARDED SHIT!
That's KHAIRUL.
My best friend. :D
he is really very caring.
always understand me.
whenever i am sad, he will know.
and he will be there to comfort me.
love you khai!
bff.

That's SYAFIQAH.
My crazy girlfriend.
another one that has always been there for me.
i love you fyy.
forever. :D
cant wait to watch you dance.

And thats AMANI!
She is always so caring too.
giving me the utmost support.
AMANI. wanna tell you that,
though i wasnt that close with you last time,
but now its different.
you can always rely on me too alright?
I LOVE YOU AMANI! :D

i think thats all.
freaking tired.
but i guess i might be tonning again tonight.
if i ton,
it will be 4 days no sleep for me. ):